I don't know..

what's real and what's not anymore.
I don't know what's wrong and what's right anymore.
More or less WHO'S wrong and who is right, I don't know.

I don't want to care anymore.
But the more I try not to care is the more I think about it.
Gnawing my heart away.

The more the apologies, the more irritated I get.
Does it make sense?
That apologies are not what I was looking for.

The more the apologies, the more everything sounds so insincere.
The more the giving up and the giving in, the more everything sounds like crap to me.
The more we fight, the more everything made less sense.

Remorse is not something I'm looking for.
Hatred is not something I'm looking for.
Cowardice is not something I'm looking for.

What is it that I'm searching?

Love? I'm sure that's somewhere part of the equation.
Else, we won't be here.
And never was there a denial on that part from either of us.

Then what's wrong?

Why do we keep throwing accuses?
Why do we keep trying harder and harder to top each other in making one another unhappy?
Why do we do that?

What is wrong with us?
You tell me.
What's wrong with the picture now?

I found this..

quote at a drag queen's blog.

It seems appropriate for me to say it now.

"..if you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my
best.."

that says a lot, right?

I've been writing..

One post per month. Lol..Guess that's a record.

Let see..

There were several topics that came across my mind. Topics that I wanted to write about. Say my stuff even though the traffic here is quite slow. Tee hee. I've stop posting comments on other people's blog, I've stop blog hopping..so basically those people, most of them anyway, stop coming this way. Kan?

My purse got stolen during a warehouse sale. Major bummer. And yang menyakitkan hati..orang yang curi purse tu pos balik all my cards and stuff in the purse back to my house. Amboi, ingat baik hati sangat ke mcm tu? Bongok.

Been seriously having emotional issues. Don't know the reason. I'm guessing I'm just plain crazy. A psychopath would't need a reason to be crazy, right? But I find fault in the smallest things. Even with what I do myself. Apatah lagi, yang orang lain buat. I got major issues. And I don't know what's the source that's bugging me.

Last weekend, I kept binging on food. Eh, weekend? You could say the whole week. Asyik makan benda2 yg sedap. And banyak. I've put on more weight. :( And they won't go away. Erghhhh..Macam tak cukup gemuk ke apa. This week I'm stuffing myself with fruits. Nyum nyum. The trouble with having a proper diet with me is I don't have the time to really eat according to time. I heard that proper timed meal is very important to get your ideal weight yadda yadda. I would be soooo busy and put off eating till..I'm done with work. And that's like squeezing 2 meals at 1 go. And I'd be soooo hungry, that I'd overeat. Plus takeaways aren't exactly a diet precripstion kan?

There's a problem with the plumbing at this house. And the dogs next door are super annoying. Rasa nak beli BB gun or lastik ke..boleh tembak anjing tu. And the great thing is the dogs wont die..so I'd get to tembak banyak kali. And they stink :(

Oklah...nak mandi and solat subuh..I've pulled another all nighter. Kalau dulu masa time belajar boleh macam ni kan bagus. :P

And oh, I've GOT to stop biting my nails. It won't look good with rings kan? huhuh..
Any remedy?